Firstly I want to say that I don’t see myself as a victim although my training shows that I am. I’m sure I’ve never directly stated where I work or what I do on here. I find people make judgements and this is something I would rather avoid. I posted a while ago about my ex husband being charged with a domestic offence against me and the months after. What I don’t think I mentioned was that I worked in the Social Work Team dealing with Criminal Justice reports and more recently managing a case load.
Over the past few months I have been considering how appropriate it is for me to work in this area following the charge against my ex husband. My working role includes writing reports for people who have been convicted of a domestic offence against their partner or former partner. More recently my role has also managed domestic offenders and completing work with them to reduce the likelihood of reoffending.
We were sent an email at work a few months ago to nominate ourselves for domestic abuse awareness training in relation to writing the reports. The email said it was compulsory and so I chose a date and sent it away. During the morning of the training a previous manager caught my eye and signed to me that I should leave if I needed to. She had supported me through the offence going to court and realised before I did that this course was going to have a negative impact on me. I sat through the morning session and realised that I was taking little in and slowly withdrawing. I didn’t want to be part of this training and I wanted a way to escape. So I took notes, lots of notes about the course. When we were asked to do group work, I said little. I realised at that time that I needed to change where I work and quickly.
At the morning coffee break the manager came to sit with me and said she was sorry I should have never been asked to come on this training. And then I explained to her that today was also the day that my ex is back in court for sentencing. She took one look at me and told me that I shouldn’t be there and to go back to the office and work. The relief was instant. But on the drive back I realised that what had been difficult about this was that I had been abused in other ways psychologically and I had never realised it. That’s what was effecting me the most.
I hate that my ex husband has done this to me. I wanted to work in Criminal Justice and now I cant even face the work that I trained to do. I realised during the morning session that I could no longer do this and I need to change the sector that I work in. In the next few days an application should be submitted for me to transfer to a different department and hopefully I will get a transfer quickly.
The call to tell me what happened in court didn’t come through until 4.30pm. He was admonished for the domestic and fined for the driving offence. I have to say this makes me question my work further. What is the point in writing reports for the court if they make up their own minds anyway and drag people through court for there to be no real repercussions.